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EDUCATIONAL ABUSE TOPICS INDEX OF TOPICS West Alabama CAC General Abuse Educational Information Child Abuse Information for Parents & Custodians
Yes &
No of Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention
INDEX OF TOPICS (PDF's)
West Alabama Children's Advocacy Center 280 Stadium Circle, P.O. Box 685, Vernon, AL 35592 -- 205-695-8100
"Believe the hurt, begin the healing" What is the West Alabama Children's Advocacy Center The purpose of the West Alabama Children's Advocacy Center is
two-fold: To provide a safe, and child friendly environment in which
sexually and/or physically abused children and their families are helped
to deal with the effects of abuse in a manner that promotes healing and
to coordinate community services in the prevention, investigation,
prosecution, and treatment of abused children through a
Multidisciplinary Team approach. The Child Advocacy Center has been established to ensure that these
children will not be further victimized by the very system that is
supposed to protect them. For this abused child, the innocence of
childhood becomes a continuing nightmare. A child can be interviewed as
many as 14 to 17 times by lawyers, police, doctors, social workers and
counselors if the case is brought into the criminal justice system. This
pain of humiliation and embarrassment of reliving this nightmare again
and again intensifies each time he or she has to tell the story to total
strangers. Often times these interviews are conducted in undesirable
settings such as police stations, courthouses and school hallways, none
of which are conducive to the emotional well being of the children. This center will provide a place where there will be an opportunity
for a team of sympathetic professionals to minimize the number of times
a story needs to be retold. The child becomes familiar with this team
who will be a friend, advisor and guide throughout what may be long and
confusing court cases. The facility is designed and furnished with child
victims in mind, with the idea being to make them feel safe instead of
threatened. REPORTER'S WORKSHOP Who speaks for me Young, innocent of power, Voiceless in the chambers of decision, Unrecognized, unknown. Who will reach inside my heart and mind And understand the thoughts I Cannot phrase? And who will look beyond my anger, This mask of hate, And care about the hurt and pain. Surely there are those who sense What is not shared. Who warm to words that are not spoken. Who unfurl banners in another's cause, Who will speak for the children. Anonymous WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE Child abuse is harm or threatened harm to a child's health or welfare
which can occur through non-accidental physical or mental injury; sexual
abuse or attempted sexual abuse; sexual exploitation or attempted sexual
exploitation. WHAT IS CHILD NEGLECT Negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child including the failure
to provide adequate food, medical treatment, clothing, or shelter. Exception: A parent or guardian legitimately practicing his religious
beliefs and does not provide medical treatment for a child. This does
not preclude a court from ordering the medical services to be provided
where the child's health requires it. WHO ARE MANDATORY REPORTERS Doctors, surgeons, medical examiners, coroners, dentists, nurses, and
pharmacists Schoolteachers and school personnel Law enforcement officers and officials Social Workers Day care workers and employees Mental health professionals Persons who render aid or medical assistance to any child when the
child is known or suspected to be a victim of abuse or neglect WHAT IS YOUR LIABILITY? All persons reporting suspected abuse or neglect (whether required by
law or not) are presumed to be acting in good faith. Alabama law
provides immunity from liability for actions by mandatory reporters. WHAT TO INCLUDE IN A REPORT? The child's name and location The parents' names and address Your name and the name of your agency, school or organization A clear and concise description of the abuse and/or neglect with as
many specific details as possible WHAT TO DO IN AN EMERGENCY? If a life threatening situation exists, make sure the person taking
your call understands that emergency intervention is needed. WHEN TO REPORT? Whenever you know or suspect that a child is being abused or
neglected. Use your professional training and expertise to make this
decision. It is not necessary to prove that the abuse or neglect
happened. If you are reasonably suspicious, you MUST report. It is
better to err on the side of wrongful reporting than to risk further
injury or the death of a child. Do not delay reporting if you do not
have all of the needed information. Additional information can be added
later. HOW TO REPORT Call your local Department of Human Resources and/or your Sheriff's
Department: Lamar County DHR: 205-695-5000 Lamar County Sheriff's Department: 205-695-7470 Fayette County DHR: 205-932-1665 Fayette County Sheriff's Department: 205-932-3205 Pickens County DHR: 205-367-8184 Pickens County Sheriff's Department: 205-367-2000 RED FLAGS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE UNEXPLAINED BRUISES Appearing on the soft tissue of the face (black eyes), on the
genitals, back, buttocks, or upper thigh Reflecting the shape of a belt buckle, extension cord, handprints,
etc. Child is furtive or embarrassed when bruises are discussed Child has many "accidents" at home and seems secretive about what
happened Child complains of beatings UNEXPLAINED LACERATIONS To the face, mouth, eyes, gums, etc. To the external genitals To the legs, arms, torso that mimic the imprint of a belt, extension
cord, coat hanger UNEXPLAINED BURNS Cigarette burns on the body Scald burns that look like immersion burns Rope burns or abrasions RED FLAGS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE BEHAVIORAL INDICATORS Fear of parents or caretaker. Reluctant to go home Difficulty in walking, limping, sore joints Listless, detached, withdrawn, preoccupied, extremely aggressive School performance deteriorates; achievement does not reflect ability Wears inappropriate clothing, i.e., long sleeves and does not want to
dress out for physical education class PARENTAL BEHAVIORS Show little feeling or compassion for the child Belittles the child Have unrealistic or bizarre expectations Expect the child to conform to rigid standards of behavior Give vague or inconsistent explanations of accidents or injuries RED FLAGS OF PHYSICAL NEGLECT Failure to meet a child's minimum needs for food, clothing, Shelter, supervision, education, medical care, etc. PHYSICAL INDICATORS Underweight, often hungry, pale Eyes are listless, sunken, dark circles Poor hygiene, dirty bodies, dirty or ill-fitting clothing, offensive
body odor Unattended medical needs BEHAVIOR INDICATORS Begs, steals or hides food Reports that he is left at home alone for extended periods Fatigued and preoccupied Seeks affection or attention inappropriately PARENTAL BEHAVIORS Leaves child unattended for long periods of time Seems unconcerned for the child's physical needs Chronically does not provide food or money to purchase food at school Refuse to obtain needed medical and/or dental treatment for the child RED FLAGS OF SEXUAL ABUSE PHYSICAL INDICATORS Difficulty in walking or sitting Lack of bowel control Bloody discharge in pre-menstrual girls or anal bleeding in boys Venereal disease Complains of pain, itching or swelling in the genital area BEHAVIORAL INDICATORS Child discloses he/she has been sexually abused Bizarre or unusual sexual behaviors Knowledge of sexual behaviors inappropriate for child's age Excessive masturbation Lack of self-esteem, depression Child talks of "secrets" that cannot be told PARENTAL BEHAVIORS Perceive the child as "different" or "bad" Belittle or humiliate the child Insist that the child be treated differently Express or show no affection toward the child WHY CHILDREN DO NOT DISCLOSE Feelings of shame Lack of trust Low self-esteem Unaware that the activity is inappropriate Fear of breaking up the family Fear of alienation of family member Fear of isolation from others Threats Confusion Dependency needs of the victim Ill-equipped to deal with the outside world Chaotic lifestyle DISCUSSING ABUSE WITH A CHILD Five Critical Components Are: Believe him or her! ...Empower...Support... Report...Follow up TIPS TO CONSIDER WHEN TALKING WITH PARENTS IN DISTRESS Establish rapport Be non judgmental and uncritical Demonstrate genuine concern and understanding Try to determine, gently, what issues concern the parents Use lots of reflective statements and use your listening skills. "It
sounds like you feel frustrated now" Do not agree with or condone, just listen Understand the parent may be feeling very stressed and may not know
how to deal with the situation Be supportive but do not pity Emphasize anything positive Give lots of praise for seeking help Help parents draw on their own strengths Work to make parents feel valued as individuals Help them verbalize how they feel Help them find places for support such as social agencies, churches,
family, etc. TIPS TO CONSIDER WHEN TALKING WITH A CHILD IN DISTRESS Show your concern Establish a trusting relationship Maintain openness and composure Let the child talk at his/her own pace Talk with the child in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed Allow the child to end the conversation when the child exhibits
discomfort Be aware of the child's readiness to resume the discussion at a later
date Allow the child to use his/her own words but check to make sure you
both understand their meaning Remember the child will feel anxiety/fear Believe the child throughout the process Do not express negative or discrediting attitudes toward the
parents/caretaker Do not convey anger or impatience if the child does not fully
disclose Do not ask "Why" questions. Ask "How?" "What?" "When?" and "Where?"
questions The Child Advocacy Center is a non-profit organization led by a Board
of Directors. Funding is provided through a combination of state funds,
as well as civic and individual donations and fundraising. If you are a member of a civic group, club, church group or other
organization, and would be interested in a presentation or additional
information, call: West Alabama Children's Advocacy Center, Inc.
1322 OLD HWY 18, P.O. BOX 685
VERNON, AL 35592 PHONE/FAX E-MAIL:
wacac@centurytel.net WEB ADDRESS:
www.wacac.net END Child Abuse Information
Parents/Custodian Etc. The Grooming
Process: Steps The Abuser Takes To Set Up Children Some parents wonder how it
is possible for their children to be abused. Offenders use many tactics
to gain access to children. These include: Seeking out an approachable
child: Abusers usually pick children who are easy to get to
(relatives, friends, and neighbors). They may also seek children who
have emotional needs for friendship and attention. Establishing relationship
with the child: Abusers often seek ways to build trust and
friendship with children. They may spend time playing with them,
volunteer for child care duty, become their "buddy" or buy them candy or
presents. Breaking down the child's
resistance to touch: Abusers may find ways to touch children a lot.
As a result, the children are often confused when the touch becomes
sexual. The abusers may play games with a lot of physical contact, like
wrestling, and they may tickle children and sneak sexual touches. Finding ways to isolate a
child: Abusers find excuses to be alone with children so they can
molest them. For example, they may baby-sit, invite them to sleep over,
or take them camping. Blaming the child and
keeping the secrets: Abusers try to make the children feel
responsible so they won't tell. They use statements like these: You know
you like the way I touch you.. If you tell, people will think you are
bad.. If you tell our special secret, I will go to jail.. If you tell
your mother, she won't love you anymore. How Parents
Sometimes Feel When Abuse Has Been Reported When abuse is reported,
parents sometimes feel as if they are on a roller coaster of emotions.
This is normal. The report can affect your life in many ways, and it
takes time to adjust. Following are some of the common thoughts and
feelings parents have. You may feel one or more of these, or you may
move from one to another. Denial: Your first
reaction may be to not believe or accept the possibility that it really
happened. Or you may believe it happened, but no real harm was done.
Parents often experience denial because it is too overwhelming to accept
that the abuse occurred and that there will be after-effects. For some
people, it takes time to overcome denial and face the realities of
abuse. Anger:
At times. You may feel angry with yourself for not protecting your
child. You may feel angry with the perpetrator for what he did. You may
even feel angry with the child. Be honest about your feelings and share
them with a trusted person or group. Helplessness: You
probably do not know what to expect and feel that things are out of your
control. Some parents may fear that their children will be taken away.
Try to stay aware of how cases proceed through the system in which you
are involved. Lack of assertiveness:
You may feel invisible and think there is nothing you can do to help the
situation get better. We will help you learn what you can do to change
the situation and take appropriate action. Shock, numbness, repulsion:
You may have memories of being abused as a child, which may lead to
shock, numbness and repulsion for the new situation you find yourself
in. If so, you may need to seek therapy for yourself to recover from the
abuse. Guilt, self-blame: You
may feel it is all your fault. But the offender is responsible for the
abuse, not you. The best thing you can do now is support your child and
learn all you can about how to make things better. Reading this is a
good first step. Hurt and
betrayal: It is normal to feel hurt from the loss of your children's
innocence. You also may have lost a spouse or partner if that person was
the offender. You may even have lost friends. It is very important to
take time to grieve for these losses. Sexual inadequacy: Some
women believe the offender turned to the child because their relations
with him were not adequate. It is important to learn the dynamics of
abuse in order to realize that sexual relations with an adult partner do
not affect a person's likelihood to abuse or not to abuse children. Concern
about money: You may be worried about finances because of lost
income. Do not hesitate to seek assistance from community resources, DHR
Social Worker or Advocate Program to help you get on your feet. Fear of violence: In
homes where violence is common, you may fear the offender will try to
harm you or your children. If so, please contact the domestic violence
shelter in your area. Fear of drug or alcohol
abuse: You may be afraid that you or the offender will abuse drugs
or alcohol because of the stress, or that one of you may have a relapse
to an old addiction. If you need help please call the local crisis
center or mental health facility. How to Act
Toward Your Child Provide safety, love and
support. Let them know it is okay to cry or be mad. Make sure your child
understands it is not his or her fault. Don't coach or pressure your
child to talk about things. Some things
you can say that will really help your child: I believe you, I know
it's not your fault.. I'm glad I know about it.. I'm sorry this happened
to you.. I will take care of you.. I'm not sure what will happen next..
Nothing about you made this happen.. It has happened to other children
too.. You don't need to take care of me.. I am upset, but not with you..
I'm angry at the person who did this.. I'm sad, you may see me cry..
That's all right, I will be able to take care of you.. I'm not mad at
you.. I don't know why he did it.. He has a problem.. You can still love
someone but hate what he or she did to you. Some things
you can do: Return to a normal routine as soon as possible. See that
your child receives therapy as soon as possible.. Trying to sweep the
problem under the rug usually causes more problems because it will not
go away.. Find help for yourself.. You don't have to do it all
yourself.. Teach your child the rules of personal safety.. Tell them
what to do if someone tries to touch them in an uncomfortable way.. Be
careful not to question your child about the abuse. If you do, you can
jeopardize the case in court against your child's abuser.. Specially
trained professionals will interview your child to obtain the necessary
information without harming the case or further traumatizing him/her..
If your child wants to talk about it, listen supportively, but do not
probe.. Keep your child away from the person suspected of the abuse.
This is to protect you, that person, and the child.. Avoid discussing
the case with other victims or their families.. Never coach or advise
your child on how to act or what to say to professionals or
investigators. This could seriously damage the case.. Avoid the
suspect.. Your child may need an extra sense of physical security. Stay
close, and assure your child you will keep him/her safe.. Remember to
give attention to your other children. What to Say
to Others One challenge your family
will face will be what to say to others about the abuse. Your child may
feel embarrassed and/or responsible. If there is no publicity or public
awareness, you can decide whom you will tell. Let your child know with
which relatives or friends you will be discussing it and let your child
have some choice about who is told. Sometimes an extended
family member is the first person to learn of the abuse. You may feel
hurt that someone knew before you. However, understand that your child
may have been trying to protect your feelings by telling someone else.
Your child may have felt that person could tell you in a less upsetting
way than he or she could. If you are especially close
to your family, you will probably want to talk with them about your
child's abuse and how it has affected the family. It is important to
keep in mind how these relatives usually react to stressful situations.
Their reactions may include hysteria, horror, obvious distress, sincere
concern, embarrassment, disgust, disinterest or unnecessary questioning
for intimate details. If you know they will react in a negative way, you
may not want to share the information with them unless it becomes
necessary. It is important to maintain your child's sense of privacy. On
the other hand, be careful not to make it a dirty secret, as this could
cause more shame in your child. Reference:
When Your Child Has Been Molested. by Kathryn B. Hagans & Joyce
Case END Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention Yes & No's SHOULD I TALK TO MY CHILDREN ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE?
WHAT DOES SEXUAL ABUSE MEAN? Sexual abuse should not be confused
with physical contacts between an adult and a child that are fond or
playful expressions of love. Sexual abuse is quite different. It is the
use of a child for the sexual gratification of an adult. Children may be
the victims of sexual mistreatment, indecent exposure, peeping toms,
obscene phone calls, or oral stimulation and sexual intercourse. WHAT SHOULD I KNOW ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE? It affects boys and girls
of all ages, and unfortunately it is not as uncommon as we would like to
believe. One out of every four girls and one out of every eight boys
under 18 have reported incidents of sexual abuse. While parents may warn
their child of dangers and aggressive strangers, the fact is that in 85
% of reported cases of sexual abuse, the offender is known to the child
as a relative, a friend of the family or a neighbor. You should be
concerned because parents may think of sexual abuse as one isolated
incident that happens suddenly. This does happen, but MORE OFTEN it is
part of a situation that develops gradually and may occur over and over
again before it is detected. You should be concerned because parents may
think of sexual abuse as a violent attack on a child, when in fact it is
more frequently the result of tricks and subtle coercion such as: I'll
let you stay up late if you . . . I'll let you go to the movie if you...
Do you want to play a fun game… You need to take off your clothes... MOST OFFENDERS OF SEXUAL ABUSE ARE STRANGERS: No. In most cases
of sexual abuse, the offender is someone known and trusted by the child
and family. The offender is frequently a relative, neighbor, friend or
baby-sitter. SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN MOST OFTEN OCCURS IN POOR NEIGHBORHOODS AND
AMONG UNEDUCATED PEOPLE: No. Offenders come from all walks of life:
The wealthy and the poor, employed and unemployed, married and single,
young and old, educated and uneducated, male and female. Offenders and
victims are usually of the same race. GIRLS ARE THE VICTIMS: No. Boys are abused nearly as often as
girls. OFFENDERS ARE ALWAYS MEN: No. They can be men or women of any
age. Older children or teenagers can also be offenders. CHILDREN IMAGINE SEXUAL EXPERIENCES AND MAKE UP STORIES ABOUT THEM:
No. The temptation is to deny a child's story of sexual abuse, to
think that the child's story is exaggeration, misunderstanding, or even
fantasy. Believe the child. Children do not imagine sexual experiences
unless they have had them. CHILDREN SEEK OUT SEXUAL ACTIVITY: Children may imitate adults,
but they do not seek sexual activity. It is the adult who misinterprets
the child. Adults are responsible for their own behavior. NICE CHILDREN ALWAYS ALLOW "LOVING" RELATIVES AND FRIENDS TO TOUCH
THEM: No. Children should be taught that their bodies are private
and belong to them. They should not feel guilty or be bribed into
allowing someone to bother them or to touch them in ways that make them
feel bad. We need to let children know that everyone, including every
child, has the right to say "no" to advances, even if the person is a
friend or family member SIGNALS OF CHILD ABUSE: Child tells stories of sexual nature..
Child reports sexual activity.. Child has a sudden fear of strangers, a
relative or sitter..Child suddenly becomes unruly and destructive, shy
or withdrawn.. Irritable, cranky, short-tempered behavior..Change in
behavior at school or with friends.. Child may act out feelings, run
away, skip school, be rebellious..Child needs more reassurance than
usual, clinging to parent..Sleep disturbances: (nightmares, fear of going
to bed, wanting light on, waking up during night, fear of sleeping alone)..Pain, itching, discharge, swelling, bruises or bleeding; child
may walk differently.. Child's clothing.appears stained, torn or
bloody..Please note that the above mentioned signals are only
indications of abuse. WHAT TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN: Parents can learn the extent of
the problem of child sexual abuse and then let their children know that:
Not all adults care about children's feelings..Children can say no
even to adults when frightened or confused by them..Children have the
right to the privacy of their own bodies..Teach children they have the
right to refuse demands for physical closeness if it makes them feel
uncomfortable. Assure them it is all right to say NO even to close
friends and relatives..Teach children to distinguish between good
touches, bad touches and those confusing touches..Caution children
against playing alone in isolated places..Children can tell a trusted
adult if they are touched in a way that makes them feel
uncomfortable..Tell your children how to reach you in case of
emergencies..Take time to play the "What if" game (a pretend game) with
your children. HOW DO CHILDREN REACT TO SEXUAL ABUSE:
Children's reactions differ with their ages and personalities, and
the nature of the offense. Sometimes, they seem not to be upset; often
they are frightened or confused by sexual assault, especially if
committed by a cousin, sibling, uncle/aunt, parent, step-parent or
grandparent. The child may be afraid to tell for fear of punishment, of
blame, or of disbelief. The child may not want to "make problems" for
the offender. Older children are often too embarrassed to tell anyone. EFFECTS ON THE VICTIM:
A child who experiences sexual assault need not be damaged
permanently. With proper emotional support, the effect of the incident
can be dealt with properly. Take advantage of counseling in your
community. Believe your child's story. Don't deny the problem or blame
the child. Stay calm. Intense emotions will frighten the child. A quiet,
unhurried conversation conveys calmness. Never punish the child. Sexual
abuse is the fault of the abuser. Assure your child that you still love
him/her, regardless of what has happened. Tell the child he/she is safe
and will not be harmed. Although sexual abuse is a crime, do not take the law into your own
hands. Get help immediately! IMPORTANT:
YOUR CHILD SHOULD BE AWARE THAT HEALTHY SEXUALITY IS
DIFFERENT FROM SEXUAL ABUSE. BE PREPARED TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS.
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